They shouldn’t have closed the RoundRobin. (To those who have not done The School.)

Byron Katie’s organization have a roundrobin system that used to be open to anyone. You would sign up, get matched with someone else, and then do daily inquiries over phone for a month, taking turns facilitating each other. I did it for a year and a half, and got a great deal out of it. They decided to close it a few months ago, limiting it to those who have done The School, a several day (and quite expensive) training in The Work that I haven’t attended.

1. True?
   Yes. This one too feels true, and I don’t have trouble finding stories supporting it.
2. Sure?
   No. Don’t know their reasons, the impact it has on those left out, or what that means in the long run or the big picture. Also, it is their system so their decision. (Even if it impacts me in ways I don’t like.)
3. What happens when I believe that thought?
   • I feel I am right and they are wrong. I know better.
   • I go into victim mode. I got a great deal out of it, did it sincerely and diligently for so long, and they now shut me out of it.
   • I go into stories around how their decision is flawed.
     • Some folks who have never done The School seem far more sincere and sophisticated in The Work than folks who have done it. Some folks who have never done The School do the Work on a far more regular basis, and spread it far more, than many who have done The School.
     • It seems like an arbitrary decision to use participation in The School to limit people who can join the roundrobin.
     • The School is very expensive. Not everyone has the money to do it. Why should they be left out just because of lack of money? To be left out in this way is a double punishment: First, they don’t have the money to do it. Then they are left out of the roundrobin too.
     • Why leave large groups of people out of it, people who are sincere and experienced with The Work, and could benefit greatly from it? It makes no sense.
   • I go into stories of what this means for me. It was an important part of my daily life for so long, and is now gone. And I am not very successful in finding new partners, even if I post on The Work email lists and try in other ways.
   • I go into stories of how others too are left out. Others who may have benefited greatly when they were part of the roundrobin system, and got kicked out the same way as myself. Others, who would have joined if they could, but now can’t.
   • I am unable and unwilling to look into any good reasons they may have had for having made the decision. I only see how it is unwise and has undesirable impacts on people.
   • I feel hurt. Left out. Frustrated. Eventually, after having tried to create an alternative system for myself and failed, hopeless.
   • I feel resentment towards those who made the decision. Don’t they realize the impact it may have on people left out? What are they supposed to do?
   • I see the tendency to act as a victim to punish whomever made the decision, to make them regret it. (As if they would ever know.) This one is difficult to admit.
   • I experience separation. Being left out. Seeing myself as right.
   • My breath becomes shallow. My muscles tense up, especially in the calves. There is a sense of panic if I go far enough into these stories. Of the world coming to an end.
4. Who would I be without that belief?
   • OK with the situation. Clear. Able to work with the situation more effectively. Receptive to different options.
5. Turnarounds.
   • The should have closed the roundrobin.
     • Well, they did so they must have had good reasons. (At least in their own minds.)
     • Who knows what will come out of it? It was probably good for the ones still in it, since they know can do it only with more experienced people.
     • It helped me see how much I got out of it, so find more appreciation for it. And it helps me see my beliefs around it.
   • I shouldn’t have closed the roundrobin.
     • I close it down in my own mind, when I believe that initial thought. I go into hopelessness, even as I try to find alternatives for myself.
   • I shouldn’t have closed me.
     • Yes, as above. I close myself down when I believe that thought. I get caught up in reactive emotions. I see only a limited set of possibilities for myself. I go into hopelessness.

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