Another way to use that question is in daily life, whenever I notice even the slightest tendency to resist experience. I can ask myself what is not OK about this?What is not OK about what I am experiencing now? Or, if I see that there is something specific that is resisted, I can ask myself what is not OK about …?
In most cases, I find no reason and this invites in a shift of allowing experience as it is. Including resistance or whatever else may be there.
And if a reason comes up, I can ask the same question - what is not OK about …? And I can also investigate it more thoroughly through inquiry.
A natural process that each of us can explore through own experience…
We want to avoid discomfort. This makes sense in an evolutionary perspective since discomfort - or pain - often is associated with something that is harmful to our human self.
We try out different approaches to avoid discomfort, including through avoiding certain situations and also resist experience. Sometimes, we also - accidentally or not - allow experience.
Through noticing, over time, the effects of resisting and allowing experience, we notice that resistance=discomfort and allowing=release of discomfort.
Even a slight resistance to experience brings discomfort, while allowing experience, wholeheartedly and in a heartfelt way, as it is, as if it would never change, brings a release of identification out of content of experience. It is all allowed, and even welcomed and appreciated, including the resistance itself. And here, there is often a sense of a nurturing fullness, independent of what the content of experience may be.
We explore this in daily life, and possibly through certain practices such as shikantaza, headlessness, Big Mind process and more. We may notice that allowing experience also invites in a healing and maturing of our human self, and makes it easier for what we are to notice itself. (The healing comes from a falling away of the drama and struggle, and also from being with experience with receptivity and heart. The maturing from allowing any experience, including resistance. The noticing of what we are from releasing identification out of content of experience.)
We naturally and quite appropriately have a certain aim for allowing experience, such as releasing discomfort or inviting in healing/maturing and awakening. This aim serves as a very useful reminder for allowing experience. Yet within that allowing, the aim too is allowed as it is. There is a release of identification out of that particular content of experience as well.
And as there is more familiarity with allowing content of experience, it feeds back to how content of experience - including intentions - appear in general. Recognized as always free from an “I”.
It is all an innocent and natural process, and unfolds - it seems - through an ongoing sincerity and curiosity in exploring the dynamics as they show up here and now.
One of the precepts from the Center for Sacred Sciences is to not overindulge in escapist entertainments. It is a very helpful precept since it brings our attention to when we do just that, and also invites in the question of why and what the dynamics are around it.
What am I trying to escape? What happens when I try to escape in this way? What happens if I meet what I am trying to escape, and more wholeheartedly allow the experience of it as it is?
And some other questions I have found useful for myself…
Is it true that what I am seeking is not already here? (From Adyashanti.)
What is/are the belief(s) behind the impulse to escape? And then take these to inquiry: What happens when I hold onto that belief? Who am I without it, here and now? How would I live my life differently without that belief? What are the truths in its turnarounds? (From Byron Katie.)
And also, while I am indulging in escapist entertainment, allow experience and notice beliefs.
I can notice whatever experiences and emotions comes up from what I am reading/watching/listening to, and see what happens when I resist them (even subtly), and what happens when I am with them and allow them more wholeheartedly.
And I can notice beliefs coming up about what I am watching/reading/listening to, and take these to inquiry later.
In this way, escapist entertainment can become a full fledged practice in itself. Still as entertaining, and maybe more juicy.
Here is one of those “open secrets” which I notice through the day, and which any number of practices - and life itself - invites me to notice.
Whenever I allow an experience - independent of its content - it invites in healing and maturing, and also makes it easier to notice what I am.
And whenever I resist experience - independent of its content - it invites in the opposite. Wounding. Immaturity. A deepening sense of I-Other split.
It is really just Life 101, and something we all know somewhere, but also a remarkable practice when it is made more conscious. And it is also something that seems to happen only when all content of experience is allowed, whatever it is, including resistance itself.
I notice that my attention naturally goes to knots. To beliefs and their consequences (drama, tension, a sense of separation, supporting stories and so on).
And I also see that I can work against or with this natural tendency.
In some specific situations, it seems appropriate to work against it. For instance, when I do a stable attention practice, I can work against that tendency by noticing when attention goes away from its practice object (breath or something else), and gently bring it back.
But in most situations, it seems to make more sense to work with it. To notice that attention naturally goes to knots, and take this as an opportunity to find the belief behind the knot (creating the knot), inquire into this belief, and also allow and be with whatever experiences are associated with the knot (mostly emotions).
If I get stuck in seeing distractions as a problem, I continue to battle with it, and also miss out of the valuable guidance in the wanderings of attention, naturally going to knots.
If I take the wanderings of attention as a valuable guidance, I am led to knots and have an opportunity to work with the beliefs creating them.
If I am free to do both, in different situations, it may be even more valuable. I get to practice a stable attention, gently notice and bringing it back whenever it wanders. And, at other times, I get to use attention as a guide.
Whether I work with allowing experience, inquire into beliefs, noticing whatever happening as awareness itself, or something similar, I can notice a tendency to take certain gestalts as more real than other.
Some gestalts serve as cues to take them as more substantial, more real, more true, and to act accordingly: to resist experience, take a story as true, take them as more solid than awareness itself.
At some point, it is helpful to become more familiar with these dynamics for ourselves.
Which gestalts do I tend to take as more substantial? What are the cues? What happens when I shift into take them as more substantial? What happens when I shift out of taking them as substantial? What do I fear could happen if I don’t take them as substantial?
Several of my friends- myself included - were as sick as we had ever been this winter and spring, typically with some form of pnemonia. It turns out that there was a surprising number of shared experiences among us.
For instance, we all felt death very close and got to see how we relate to our mortality.
Another thing that happened is something I have seen for while. When the body-mind gets exhausted, for whatever reason, there is less energy for resisting experience. Whatever is habitually resisted in daily life tends to come up.
Knots line up and come through wanting to be seen, felt and loved. Knots made up of shoulds clashing with my stories of what is, and their associated emotions and supporting stories.
For me, it is an invitation to see it, feel it, and this may gradually shift into a sense of appreciation.
Illness and exhaustion is an opportunity for knots to surface. If I continue to resist them, the discomfort only deepens. But if I welcome them, as long lost relatives, it all shifts.
It is easier to inquire into the beliefs behind the knots, and fully allow and be with the emotions and experiences associated with them, inviting in a healing and softening of the knots and my relationship with them.
The inner smile is a very simple exercise from Taoist yoga. (See the link for more details.)
When I do it, I notice a shift into holding my body in kindness and well-wishing, and this then naturally flows into the whole of my human self, any situation I am in, and others.
My personality may not like characteristics of my body or human self, or particular situations or people, but it doesn’t touch the kindness and well-wishing there for them.
The inner smile invites in an open heart, open for whatever is happening.
From a rigid view, ambivalent heart, reactive emotions, and general contraction, tension and identification with stories, there is a shift into a more fluid view, open heart, nurturing fullness, relaxation and a softening of identification with stories.
There are many connections between beliefs in stories and resistance to experience.
Both fuel and emerge from a sense of I with an Other.
Beliefs create an identity which doesn’t allow certain experiences. And resistance to experience in turn support and lends a sense of substance to those beliefs.
And yet another connection is distraction.
Whenever I want to resist experience, I find that a good way to do it is to go into and get caught up in stories. It doesn’t matter what type or flavor of story. Any will do. Stories of excitement, fascination, daydreams, judgment, blame, and so on.
“The single thing that comes close to a magic bullet, in terms of its strong and universal benefits, is exercise.”
“The data show that regular moderate exercise increases your ability to battle the effects of disease,” Dr. Moffat said in an interview. “It has a positive effect on both physical and mental well-being. The goal is to do as much physical activity as your body lets you do, and rest when you need to rest.”
When I look at the effects of exercise, I see that the benefits seem to come through flow and capacity. Exercise get things moving and builds capacity.
And that is true for exercise at any level.
At the thought/mental field level, inquiry into beliefs gets things unstuck. It also builds capacity for inquiry, and for seeing a story as only a story.
At the emotional level, being with and allowing experience allows the content of experience to flow and move on. And it builds capacity for being with and allowing experience.
At the energetic level, exercise - such as different forms of yoga - again invites flow and capacity. The energies get moving, and it builds capacity for working with and holding energies.
At the body level, aerobic and non-aerobic exercise obviously gets things moving and unstuck, at all levels, and also builds capacity.
And the same is also true for relationships. Working consciously with relationships invites them to flow and unstick, and it builds capacity for working with relationships and allowing them to flow.
Allowing experience, shikantaza, headless experiments and the Big Mind/Heart process are all flavors of a similar shift.
And they can all fall a little differently on several dimensions, often depending on intention, experience and more.
The shift into allowing experience, into headlessness, Big Mind, realized selflessness, can be more or less partial, more or less clear.
It can be done with an emphasis on Big Mind, seeing all as awareness itself.
It can be done with an emphasis on the heart, on kindness, Big Heart.
It can be done with an emphasis on the felt sense of the shift, how it feels in the body.
It can be done with an emphasis on our human self, on who we are.
It can be done with an emphasis on what is here now, as it is, or on what is here now unfolding over time, revealing a process and a journey within content of experience.
And it can be done as a combination of any of these, simultaneously or shifting attention over time.
As Pema Chödrön says, there is a wisdom in no escape.
We notice that content of experience is what it is, right now, and that identifying with resistance to it only creates drama and suffering, so I may as well fully allow it, in a wholehearted way, as it is, as if it would never change.
And we may also notice that the sense of no escape is created from wanting to escape, in three ways.
First, without the thought of escape, there is no thought of no escape.
Then, by identifying with the thought of wanting escape, we try to escape, and realize it cannot be done.
And finally, identifying with the intention of escape is exactly how we are trapped in a sense of no escape.It brings identification firmly within content of experience, in this case the thought and intention and attempts of escape, so our identification is trapped within content of experience. We take ourselves to be an object in the world, at the mercy of the whims of a world living its own life.
Yet, as soon as identification is released out of this identification, there is an escape. When we fully allow experience as it is, including resistance to experience, there is a release of identification out of content of experience.
We find ourselves as that which experience happens within, to and as.
We find ourselves as that which is inherently free from any experience, allows all experience, and that all experience happens within, to and as.
We find ourselves as that which doesn’t need to escape. It is already free from it, so there is no need to escape that which does not bind. And it is already any content of experience happening, so there is no need to escape that which is not Other.
So to summarize:
The wisdom of no escape is to realize that what is, is. The content of experience, here now, is what it is. Trying to escape it only creates drama and suffering. Fully allowing it invites in a sense of peace and clarity.
The sense of no escape is created in three ways.
Without the thought of escape, no thought of no escape.
It is the tryingto escape, which brings us to notice that there is no escape.
And it is the identification with that thought of escaping which traps us in the first place. It brings identification firmly within the world of form, so we are trapped within it and the whims of this world of form.
As soon as we fully allow content of experience as it is, as if it would never change, identification is released out of content of experience. We find ourselves as that which content of experience happens within, to and as. As that which is already free from content of experience, because there is no identification with the thought of escape, because it is that which the ever changing world of form happens within, to and as, and because content of experience is not Other.
We can have trust in something, but if we do we depend on whatever we have trust in being available to us, and we are also likely to be disappointed.
Another approach is to realize that this trust awakened in us by something in the world, is right here now. It can be found independent on circumstances. And it is really just trust. Not in anything in particular. Or maybe, in life, existence, what is.
One way it may emerge is through certain explorations, such as wholeheartedly allowing any experience, and being open to investigating any belief.
When I wholeheartedly allow what I am experiencing right now, especially those experiences that seem the most scary, I find that it is OK. I can be with it, allow it, as it is, as if it would never change. It may be more than OK.
Even as the content of experience stays much the same, there may also be a shift into a sense of nurturing fullness and a quiet joy. A quiet joy in just experiencing, independent of the content of experience, revealed when I don’t struggle against it.
And when I investigate beliefs, including those that seem most untouchable or create the most stress for me, I find that the belief, and what it refers to, also are OK. And again, it may be more than OK. I may find the gifts in the reversals of the initial belief, a release of identification out of the initial story and its reversals, and clarity.
In both cases, I may find a genuine appreciation for what is, as it is.
There is a receptivity of the heart and mind, and this invites in a sense of trust in nothing in particular, or in what is, as it is.
And this trust eventually is experienced in the belly center. It becomes a deeply felt trust. A sense of nurturing fullness of the belly center, and in experience in general.
What I especially enjoy is their aim of shaking people out of their everyday routines in a way that is enjoyable for everyone (unless someone is set on not enjoying it), and also their long form improvisation guideline of Yes, And.
Accepting an offer is usually accompanied by adding a new offer, often building on the earlier one; this is a process improvisers refer to as “Yes, And…” and is considered the cornerstone of improvisational technique. Every new piece of information added helps the actors to refine their characters and progress the action of the scene.
This is not a bad guideline for life in general.
Life throws something at us, and we can respond with a Yes, And… We say yes to it, and then add our own, advancing the story from a place of Yes, And. The Yes is an invitation to allow it, and even find peace with and appreciation for whatever is happening. And the And is an invitation for us to bring it something else to it, to take it further.
Or we talk with someone, they say something that has a grain of truth in it, which just about anything has, so we can acknowledge that grain of truth, and add another perspective. The Yes is an invitation to find the truth in their perspective, and the And is an invitation for us to bring something new to it.
The Yes is a wholehearted Yes to whatever is happening, an invitation for receptivity and appreciation. The And an invitation to actively add something to it, bring something new to it, advance the story in a way that may be interesting, entertaining, beautiful and touching.
Going into danger while throwing caution to the wind? Pushing away fear and pretending it is not there? Manipulating experience so fear will not arise? Acting in spite of fear?
For me, it has to do with going directly into that which I fear the most.
To fully allow any experience, no matter how scary it seems. To be with it, independent of its content, including the resistance itself, as if it would never change.
And to investigating any belief and story that comes up for me, however dear it may be to me and however much the world may tell me it is true, and find what is more true for me.
Through this there is a growing trust.
A trust that comes through seeing that any experience is OK, no matter how scary it may seem when I resist it.
And a trust that comes from thoroughly investigate any belief, including the most scary and apparently true ones, and find the complete innocence and freedom that is already there, waiting for the investigation.
A trust that comes from receptivity of heart and mind.
Finally, it has to do with finding myself as that which any experience, and any story, happens within, to and as, independent of the particulars of its content.
If we are used to take ourselves as content of experience, and this content does not show up as we are used to, what then?
I don’t do recreational drugs, or even much alcohol, so I don’t know how it is when content gets weird in that way.
But I do get sick occasionally, as right now, and fewer can easily make the content of experience different from what I am used to, especially during the night when the anchors of the routines of daily life, and ordinary sense experiences, are not there in the same way.
I am quite exhausted physically today, mostly from lack of sleep over several days.
So if I resist the experience of exhaustion, there is discomfort right there. I go into a victim mode. I want things to be different from how they are. The exhaustion becomes an Other, a problem, something that prevents me from doing what I want to do.
But if I allow the experience of it, for instance by using some of the Breema principles (body comfortable, no extra), there is a shift. Now, there is an intimacy with the body and the symptoms, and instead of it being a problem, hindering me in doing what I had planned, it becomes a support. The exhaustion is revealed as a deep relaxation, a deep quietness, a nurturing fullness, which in a very practical and immediate way supports me in whatever is happening here now.
When there is still a sense of a separate I, and the content of experience gets very quiet, for instance in sitting practice, it can seem pretty boring. Not much is happening. It feels sort of dry. It is not very juicy.
So the tendency then, coming from pure innocence, is to go to a thought for juice. If it is not there in what is happening, I can at least find it in the inside of a thought.
And the shift is to just stay with it. Allow it. Be curious about the dryness. Invite in peace with it.
After a while, we may notice that we are this awakeness that not much is happening within, and that is actually quite juicy. There is an aliveness there. Presence. It is enough in itself, without a lot of excitement happening in the content.
Our identification shifts from taking ourselves as a part of content of awareness, which can be pretty boring when the content is quiet, to that which this content happens within, to and as, and the quitet joy and bliss in just noticing what we already are.
There are of course stage specific tools, both teachings and practices, and these have practical value.
But at the same time, I can’t help noticing that the tools I am currently using are not stage specific. They can be used by anyone, from novices to people familiar with the terrain, from those firmly in grips of a great deal of beliefs to those verging on the border of selfless realization.
The Big Mind process can be helpful at any stage of the path, inviting our human self to function better in the world, refining our insights into dynamics, finding ourselves as Big Mind/Heart, and bringing it more fully into the life of this human self.
The Work can be used by anyone, including children, those with few beliefs apart from a subtle one of being a separate I, and also those from whom awakeness is awake to itself, helping them gain a more detailed insight into the dynamics of stories and their effects.
Allowing experience can be used by anyone, at any time. Can I be with what I am experiencing right now? Can I fully allow it, wholeheartedly, in a heartfelt way, as if it would never go away? Can I allow it all, including resistance and what is resisted? This invites a release of identification with resistance, and a release of identification out of content of experience in general. It also helps us notice how content of experience appears one way when resisted, and often a quite different way when allowed.
Headless experiments can be used by anyone, and most of them can be used any time and any situation. We find ourselves as headless, as the no-thing that things arise within, to and as. And we explore how this is lived through our human self.
Exploring the sense fields can be done by anyone, at least after a short period of inviting in a more stable attention. It helps us explore impermanence, notice thoughts as just thoughts, noticing the difference between attention absorbed into the inside of thoughts and not, exploring how thoughts form gestalts with the other sense fields that may seem very substantial and real, and much more.
Each of these are tools available to anyone, with just some basic pointers. Most of them are largely self-regulating, having built-in feedback mechanisms to guide us. All of them can be used by novices and those more familiar with the terrain, up to selfless realization and beyond.
Attachment to anything - situations, people, things, roles - is what causes suffering. Our stories about what should be and what is clash. Which is fine. It is just part of the human condition. But after a while, and if we act from kindness towards ourselves, we may want to explore this further. What is really going on? Is there another way?
One of the first things we may notice is that any attachment is really an attachment to a story. The story of I with an Other, and then all the other stories that flesh out the identity of this separate I.
I am an object in the world, so want what supports this object and do not want what does not support it. I am alive, so don’t want to be dead. I believe in fairness, so want to see fairness in how I and others are treated.
We may also notice that an attachment to a story is really an identification with this story. We have a story of an I with an Other, and take ourselves to be this separate I. We have a story of being a particular gender, age, of a particular ethnicity, having certain values, and take ourselves to be all of that.
Another thing we may notice is that it is all completely innocent. We are all dealing with this life as best as we can, and often from lack of clarity.
And then, that behind all of it is fear. Fear for what may happen to this human self. We attach to stories to deal with this fear, and try to avoid what we are afraid may happen to it.
And that behind this fear is love. A love for this human self and whatever is within its circle of concern. All attachments to stories come from love. From wanting the best for what we take as I and us.
So how do we explore attachments, or identifications with stories?
A simple and direct way is to investigate the beliefs themselves, and find what is already more true for us. I can use a sense of discomfort as a guide to discover when my stories of what is and should be clash, and then investigate one or both of these. Is it true? What happens when I believe that thought? Who would I be without it? What is the truth in its turnarounds?
Another is to investigate impermanence in the five sense fields, to see impermanence directly here and now. This helps us reorganize and find stories more aligned with this impermanence. And it also helps us see that no story is absolutely true, which invites a release of identification with these stories.
We can also include each of the three centers: head, heart and belly.
We can find ourselves as that which is already free from identification with stories, for instance through the headless experiments, the Big Mind process, and finding ourselves as what does not change in the midst of the constantly changing content of awareness.
We can invite our heart to open through various heart centered practices, or just a focus on the heart and its qualities.
And we can invite in a deep body sense of trust and nurturing fullness through various body and hara centered practices, such as Breema.
Each of these tends to invite in an opening in the two other centers, especially if we bring attention to it. An open heart invites in an open mind and a nurturing fullness. An open mind invites in an open heart and a felt-sense of trust. A body feeling of trust and nurturing fullness invites in an open heart and mind.
We may also discover that resisting experience tends to close each of the centers. That this happens only when there is an identification with this resistance.
And that fully allowing experience, independent of what it is, tends to invite in a receptivity and opening of each center. And that this is also an allowing of the resistance, which is a release of identification with it and the content of experience in general.
It seems that just about any experience has three components, or at least has the potential for each three.
I find that any experience, even those that on the surface seems distressing and unpleasant, have a stream of quiet joy running through. There is a quiet bliss in just experiencing. In awareness itself. This thread of quiet bliss is revealed more clearly when the experience is more fully allowed, and the rest of the content of experience tends to be revealed as a form of nurturing bliss as well.
Also, any experience, no matter how joyful on the surface, has an element of discomfort as long as it is resisted. And any experience is resisted to some extent as long as we take ourselves to be an I with an Other. At the very least, we resist knowing that an experience will pass, no matter how much we enjoy it and try to hold onto it.
Any experience is also inherently neutral. As awakeness, any experience is neutral, it is awakeness itself. It is not inherently good or bad, just experience. Just awakeness temporarily being its own content. Any stories of good and bad, desirable and undesirable, right and wrong, are just stories, it all only exists on the inside of a story.
So in one sense, our life consists of good, bad and neutral situations. And in another sense, it is all happening here now, independent of the particulars of the experience.
I had an opportunity to explore ways to work with body symptoms last week, this time mainly just by fully allowing the experience, exploring the sense fields, and also resting attention on certain sensations.
Here are some ways of working with body symptoms…
Allowing the experience, in a wholehearted and heartfelt way, as they are, as if they would never change. Can I be with what I am experiencing right now? Bringing in the heart at times.
Resting attention on sensations, gently, stably, over some time. This is using body symptoms as an object for stability practice.
Exploring the sense fields, what is happening in each, and the gestalts that appear when they are combined. What is happening in sound, sensation, smell, taste and thought? How do thought combine with the other sense fields, such as sensations, to create certain appearances and gestalts? What happens when these appear solid, substantial and real? What happens when I notice how a thought combine with other sense fields to create those appearances?
Noticing the beliefs I have around body symptoms, health, disease, life, death, and inquire into them, finding what is already more true for me. (The Work.)
Finding myself as headless through the headless experiments. Am I the content of my experiences, or that which these experiences happens within and as?
Being curious about the process behind the symptoms, allowing it to unfold. What is left out of my conscious awareness that wants to be seen and included? (Process Work.)
Explore the voices that come up, such as the body, pain, illness, health, and so on. What do they have to say? How does the personality relate to them? How do they relate to each other? How does each one contribute to and help the human self? How can they do this in a simpler and more straight forward way? (Big Mind process.)
Deepening into empathy for myself and others. What I am experiencing now is universally human. Shared by all living creatures. We are all in this together. It is not (only) about me, but about us.
And then all the conventional ways of dealing with the symptoms or illness… going to the doctor, taking pills, changing diet, get more sleep, exercise, getting surgery, going to an acupuncturist, and so on depending on the situation.
As with anything else in life….
We can work with the content of it in a conventional way. In this case, going to the doctor, getting acupuncture, changing our health habits, and so on.
We can explore how we relate to it. Do I resist the experience? What happens if I more fully allow and stay with the experience? What happens if I bring attention to the symptoms in a stable and gentle way?
We can explore what is already more true for us about it. What are my beliefs around it? Are they true? What happens when I believe that? Who would I be without that belief? What is true in the reversals of my initial story?
We can allow it to work on us. When I fully allow experience, sincerely investigate beliefs, find myself as headless and so on, I can invite it to work on me, placing myself under it.
And we can use it as an invitation to notice what we already are. Am I the content of my experiences? These sensations, sounds, smells, tastes, thoughts that all live their own life, coming and going on their own time? Or am I that which these come and go within and as?
I went to the CSS practitioner’s group tonight, and it brings up a lot of stuff for me. Lots of opportunity to see my own attachment to stories and stuck places. Mostly, there is some discomfort in a social situation, which then triggers other identities and beliefs.
After a while of listening to people speak, arrogance came up, a sense of being right, of seeing things more clearly, of not wanting my clarity to be muddled by their confusion, of not being in the right place, and so on. From being caught up in it and identified with it, I shifted into fully allowing the experience…. of arrogance, the jitteriness, discomfort, restlessness, tension, all the sensations happening.
And this shifted into an opening of the heart, a sense of intimacy, recognizing myself in the others, of belonging, being in the right place, empathy for myself and the others in our shared human experiences, a sense of us.
So here too, there is an example of what is revealed behind a resisted experience.
First, there is a belief in stories and attachment to identities, which brings up experiences which in turn are resisted. These experiences then take on a certain appearance… of arrogance, discomfort and tension. When there is a shift into allowing these experiences, wholeheartedly and in a heartfelt way, there is a shift… into an open heart, a sense of connection, a calm in the midst of whatever activity is there, an interest in what is happening, a sense of us.
The discernment part of the arrogance may well stay the same, or at least retain some of its elements. I can still see that I may have more experience about some of the things people talk about. But the main shift is from a sense of being right and separation to a sense of neutrality of it all and all of us being in the same boat.
The discernment goes from being the basis of seeing myself as better than them, to just neutral information which may or may not have any practical value.
In terms of the three centers, there is also the usual shift.
My view goes from rigidly holding onto a particular story and identity to releasing its grip and being interested in alternative perspectives. I become interested in where people are coming from, and the truth in whatever they are saying.
My heart goes from being closed to opening up… to myself and others, and all of us in our shared humanity.
My emotions go from reactivity to a sense of sweet nurturing fullness.
And in general, there is a shift from resistance and reactivity to allowing and receptivity. And a shift from a sense of separation, discomfort and physical tension, to a sense of us, of belonging, and release and relaxation of the body.
Experiences usually appear one way when resisted, even subtly, and is revealed as something else when fully allowed.
In the first case, there is some discomfort, even if the experience is desirable to our human self. And in the second case, there is not.
As we begin to discover and explore this, there is a tendency to want the shift, to use allowing as a way to make the experience shift out of discomfort. But this is just another way of identifying with resistance. In wanting a shift, I am caught up in resistance to the experience.
(There may still be a shift, even if we are identified to some extent with resistance, but it is not full, so there will be some dissatisfaction there, and this is the feedback needed to discover a more full release.)
After a while, we may learn to more fully allowing the content of experience, as it is, including resistance and resisted, as if it would never change. In this way, identification with content is more fully released.
And as part of this, we begin to see, feel and love experience as it is, independent of its content. There is a taste of the equality of all experience. It is all just content of awareness, and it is all awakeness itself. It is awakeness forming itself into its own content.
As this happens, there is a shift into fully allowing experience because it is awakeness itself. There is no need for it to change.
I had an opportunity to explore being with body symptoms yesterday, as headaches and nausea peaked from something that has been brewing for a couple of days.
As long as the symptoms were mild and moderate, I was able to do other things, including distracting myself by watching movies as it got a little worse. At some point, when it went over the “moderate” threshold, I had no choice but to turn off the light and just be with the symptoms.
If attention wandered, the discomfort increased to feel almost unbearable. But when attention stayed on the body symptoms, it was OK. It was a great laboratory to be with and fully allow whatever happened, and a great feedback mechanism for attention to stay with it in a stable way without wandering.
After a while, there was a shift into a sense of clarity and soft expansion. I feel asleep for a few minutes, and woke up to a sense of clarity, a sweet nurturing fullness, a quiet bliss, and a sense of purification. The body symptoms had shifted into all of these, although I had to lie still for the physical aspects of the nausea to not kick in again. (Meaning: puking.)
So in fully allowing body symptoms, they too are revealed as something else, as any experience. They appear one way when - even subtly - resisted, and another way when wholeheartedly allowed, as they are, as if they would never change.
It is also interesting to notice that this happened on its own during my initial awakening. Whenever I got physically sick, there was a tremendous sense of clarity, bliss, nurturing fullness, and purification. During the dark night phase, I got sick the more usual way without any of this. And now, with some intention, it seems that the shift happens again.
During the initial awakening, the physical illnesses were usually quick and intense, during the dark night longer and lower intensity, and yesterday, quick and intense again.
Emotions or sensations tend to appear very different when resisted and when allowed.
For instance, I notice when arrogance or resentment comes up, and is fully allowed, they shift into an open heart, empathy, care, compassion.
And really, all experiences seem to shift into the same… a sweet nurturing fullness, an open heart, a receptive view. The particular quality of the initial resisted experience may carry through or not, and if it does, flavoring the way it is revealed when fully allowed.
Arrogance includes a discernment which may carry through. When resisted, it is combined with a sense of being right, and when allowed, combined with an open heart and a sense of us. And this discernment can be more in the foreground or background following the shift, depending on where the interest is and what the situation calls for.
Anger has a dynamic energy and clarity which may carry through. Sadness a quited stability. Physical pain a stable fiery clarity.
And resentment shift into an open heart and a sense of intimacy, a recognition of myself in the other, a sense of us.
Reactive emotions maintain their appearance through resistance to experience, and reveal themselves as something quite different when fully allowed.
Some connections between resisting and allowing experience, and the three centers…
When there is resistance to experience…
The view becomes rigid. There is a closer identification with a particular perspective and identity, and a stronger disowning of the truth in their reversals. This identification is also why an experience is resisted in the first place, so there is a mutuality here, a feedback loop which holds the dynamic in place as long as there is identification with the story and the resistance.
The heart closes down, or at least is ambivalent, trying to be open to some things and closed to something else.
The emotions are reactive. There is identification with fear, and whatever reactive emotions come up from that.
And when an experience is allowed, when there is a being with of the experience…
The view becomes more fluid. There is a release of identification out of a particular story and perspective, which makes it easier to explore the validity of its reversals. This also allows for more of a fluidity among perspectives, and an ability to use one or another as the situation seems to call for it. A generosity of view.
The heart opens. There is empathy and compassion. A recognition of oneself in the other. A generosity of heart.
At the belly center, there is a nurturing fullness. A trust in in life and whatever happens.
As usual, there is a mutuality among all of these… resisting or allowing experience, a fixed or fluid view, a closed or open heart, reactive emotions or nurturing fullness. A shift in one tends to invite a shift in the others, and they also stabilize and help deepen each other.
So when working on this, we can start at any point… allowing experience, inquire into stories, opening our heart, inviting in the nurturing fullness of the belly center.
We can ask ourselves, can I be with what I am experiencing right now? We can use The Work to investigate our beliefs. We can use heart centered practices, such as the Christian heart prayer or the Buddhist tong-len, to open our heart. We can use any belly and body centered practice, such as Breema, to invite in the nurturing fullness and the sense of trust that comes with it.
A great little video of Adyashanti talking about the difference between resisting and fully allowing experience. (Thanks to Sean for mentioning it to me!)
In my experience too, there is a big difference between almost and fully allowing an experience.
If it is allowed 98%, there is still some identification with resistance, pushing it away, escaping, wanting it to go away. So there is a sense of getting closer to it, which makes it more intense, yet resistance which makes it very uncomfortable. In a conventional sense, it only makes it worse.
But if it is fully allowed, as it is, as if it would never go away, there is a shift, a release out of the whole dynamic of resisting and resisted, of a split within form where I am identified with a should and something else is what shouldn’t be there.
And this goes not only for what our personality usually does not like, such as pain, sadness, anger, frustration and so on. It equally much goes for what our personality tends to like, such as joy, bliss and passion.
In both cases, there is an identification with a should, and in both cases there is drama and discomfort in the impermanence of it, either when something that should be there goes away or doesn’t come at all, or something that should not be there comes or stays. And in both cases, our identification is firmly with stories and within form.
When our experience is fully allowed, there is a release out of the drama and the struggle with it. And this release also helps us notice the quiet bliss that is always there within any experience. The bliss of existence itself, of awareness, of this awakeness which is inherently free from everything so allowing it all.
It seems that the shift can happen a few different ways.
The pain, grief, joy and so on stays more or less the same, but there is a release out of the drama, and a noticing of the quiet sweet bliss that is inherent in experiencing itself.
Or the content shifts more dramatically, from pain, grief, anger, or whatever it may be, to a sense of a nurturing fullness (with slightly different flavors depending on what it shifted from) along with the quiet bliss of existence itself.
For me, the first can happen if I am out and about and don’t have the time or opportunity to fully bring attention to it. And the second happens if I have a few minutes for myself and can be with it more fully. (Also, the first happens if the process has further to go, in which case there is the co-existence of a lot of different emotions and feelings as Adyashanti talks about.)
It almost seems that the initial surface experience, which we can label pain, sadness, anger, or something else, appears that way due to the resistance. When there is a release out of the resistance, it is revealed as something quite different. As a sweet nurturing fullness, with a particular flavor coming from its surface starting point. Anger becomes clarity and alertness. Sadness becomes a stable and quiet attention. Pain becomes a sense of clarity and aliveness.
There are a lot of wrinkles and intricacies here too, as with anything else. And as with most other things, we become familiar with the terrain through experience.
One of the big shifts that may happen over time is the shift from habitually identifying with wanting an experience to be different, to realizing that it is really, truly, OK as it is. This makes it much easier to be with it, fully allowing it as it is, as if it would never go away, in a wholehearted and heartfelt way.
Bringing in the heart certainly also helps, being with the experience as you would quietly be with a wounded animal or a hurt child.
An aspect of just about any practice is to allow it to work on me.
And what is this it?
It can be just about anything.
It can be Big Mind, when it awakens to itself, or even just glimpses or intuits itself, found through the Big Mind process, headless experiments, meditation, or happening out of thin air.
It can be this alive presence, in and around the body, personal and universal at the same time, substantial and transparent to the void, infinitely loving and wise, and found through prayer, Breema and (other) soul level practices.
It can be the tangible sense of body-mind wholeness, which I find through body-oriented or -inclusive practices.
It can be an open and alive heart, found through heart centered practices.
And finally, it can be any experience whatsoever, when it is fully allowed.
When an experience is resisted, independent of the content of the experience, it only reinforces the tendency to resist, the sense of I and Other, and patterns of rigidity and reactivity.
But when it is fully allowed, in a wholehearted and heartfelt way, as it is, as if it would never change, it all shifts. Then, there is an invitation to a fluidity of view, a nurturing fullness, and an open heart. There is a realignment and reorganization of this human self. A softening of the rigid patterns created from resistance. An opening into receptivity and fluidity.
And this is how all of these… Big Mind, alive presence, alive heart and more… works on the human self.
The view is invited to be more fluid and inclusive.
The heart becomes more alive and open.
There is less emotional reactivity, and more of a sense of nurturing fullness.
So when any of these (Big Mind, alive heart, allowing experience and so on) are alive and present, it is a reminder and invitation for this human self to soak in it, allow it to seep through, soften, reorganize and realign this human self.
I keep coming back to the most basic dynamics, so I guess there must be more in it for me. In any case, it is something I notice throughout the day so it is somewhat familiar territory.
One of these life 101 dynamics is being with experiences.
When I resist, there is a sense of struggle and discomfort.
When experiences are fully allowed, there is a release.
In the first case, there is identification with resistance, with a belief saying something that is should not be, with a region of content of awareness, with an I that has an Other. From there, there is a sense of drama, struggle, discomfort and so on.
When it is all allowed, in a wholehearted and heartfelt way, it all shifts. The identification is released from resistance, and from content in general. It is released out of the whole I-Other dynamic, so there is a sense of release from the struggle and drama around it as well. If the basic sense of I-Other is also allowed, there is a release from that one too, so awakeness notices itself and its own content as itself. (The basic sense of -Other comes from resistance to the Ground, to Big Mind, to awakeness noticing itself and its content as itself.)
It helps me at my human level, making it easier to deal with whatever is triggered. It helps me find myself as Big Mind. When both of those are there, it helps me find myself as Big Heart. (Which comes when I find myself as Big Mind, and bring focus on the human.)
And it is very simple. The most simple.
It is just noticing when there is identification with resistance, with any movement “away” from something or pushing something away, and then fully allowing it as it is, as if it would never change, in a wholehearted and heartfelt way. Right there, identification is released out of it. It is all still there, living its own life, but now not taken as an “I” that has an Other.
And in this, there is a lot more to notice as well.
