As we find ourselves as pure awareness and then Big Mind, our experience of and relationship with emotions also changes.

Identity and emotions

When I am exclusively identified with my human self - or a part of my human self - I have little choice but to be repeatedly caught up in emotions and other experiences. I try to hold onto some, push away others, and am neutral towards another group. I am an object in the world, struggling with other objects including emotions and experiences, and this struggle is often experienced as suffering.

When I awaken as pure awareness, as the Witness, I allow them all to come and go within space - as any experience and the whole world of form. They all come and go on their own, as guests. I am free to engage with them in various ways (for instance using their energies for action in the world) or not.

And when what is awakens to itself with no “I” anywhere, the whole world of form is revealed as emptiness dancing. As some of the many masks and forms of Spirit. The content is the same as previously - the same forms and experiences - but they are revealed as emptiness, as Spirit.

Emotions, qualities and energy

Another aspect of emotions is how their qualities are revealed and their energy applied.

Exclusively identified with my human self, emotions are seen as good or bad, positive or negative. I want some and try to hold onto them, and don’t want others and try to push them away. In either case, their energy - and the energy “I” put in to manipulate them - often comes out in behavior, and a somewhat “blind” behavior at that. I tend to be somewhat at the mercy of inner and outer circumstances, acting and reacting out of habitual patterns.

Finding myself as pure awareness, I am more free to engage with content - including emotions or not. I can use their energies for action, within the context of space & awareness. There is less reactivity here, or more accurately - there is less blind engagement with reactivity. That too comes and goes as guests, within this stainless space & awareness.

And when what is awakens to its own nature, with no inherent “I” in any segment, then it all becomes emptiness dancing and there is even more freedom in whether to and how to engage with content and emotions.

In the last two cases, emotions can just unfold in space - as they are, or we can actively engage in them and here the qualities of the emotions tends to change.

Anger becomes directed forceful engagement. Dullness becomes resting as what is, with clarity. Jealousy and envy becomes rejoicing in other’s happiness. Attraction becomes a realization of that too as me, at human (in terms of characteristics) and Big Mind levels. And so on.

I watched the latest Star Wars movie tonight. These types of movies are a good opportunity to stay in spacious awareness, and allow whatever is triggered in the personality to be triggered. The energy in the emotions helps expand, clarify and stabilize the spacious awareness. It is quite an interesting experience - the more habitual emotional patterns are triggered, the more space and presence there is.

When awareness is identified with the small self, whatever is triggered is blindly related to, in terms of fueling it further or trying to push it away. There is no space for anything else. We are blindly caught up in the drama of our own making.

When awareness awakens to its own nature, all the experiences of the personality unfolds within clear space - and the energy fuels this clarity and space. We see the drama, but there is no need to be caught up in it.

Of course, this happens in only some situations at first - typically those we are more comfortable in - and then spreads to more and more situations in our daily life. As we become familiar with the process, it becomes easier to transfer it to other situations.

This allows us to more fully engage in life, as the drama comes from a dualistic view, believing in thoughts and the reactions that arise when external/internal situations do not conform with these thoughts, and the confusion that comes from both of these. We can allow ourselves to experience whatever is triggered in the personality more fully - without fueling or pushing away. And the filters (at least some of them) fall away, and we can engage with life more directly.

The mystical (practical spiritual) movements within all of the world’s major religions all seem to be able to lead people into an awakening into Big Mind. But there are some differences in emphasis. For instance, it seems that the Buddhist awakening emphasizes clarity and wisdom, although the compassionate aspect is strong. And it seems that the awakening through Christianity and Islam (Sufism) emphasizes the fullness and richness of love and compassion. Buddhism may be more head-centered, and Christianity and Islam more heart-centered. Within Big Mind/Heart, Buddhism may emphasize Big Mind, and Christianity and Islam Big Heart. Buddhism may be more yang, Christianity and Islam more yin. And together, there is an even richer experience.

There are layers of - and different ways we can experience - the perfection of Existence.

• The Absolute
  That which is distinct from (and inseparable) from all phenomena. None of the words used to describe phenomena - which are all of them - can describe it, although some words used to hint at the experience of the Absolute is the void, deep silence, and the “ground” of being/existence. We can experience it as space and awareness - the inseparate space and awareness that is reading these words right now.

  The Absolute is distinct from all polarities - it is distinct from existence and non-existence, matter and awareness, creator and creation, etc. All of these descriptions - even when described in polarities - are irrelevant for describing the Absolute.

  The Absolute is within all phenomena, and that from which all phenomena arise. It is the “ultimate perfection”, although even the term “perfection” is irrelevant.

• Big Mind
  Big Mind embraces the Absolute and Relative, the void of the “ground” and the richness of phenomena. Everything is an expression of Big Mind, Buddha Mind, God, Existence. This seamless and fluidly evolving universe is Big Mind exploring itself, in full perfection.

• Holon
  The holon of our being - all levels from body through the Absolute - is always perfect, as is the internal/external situations the small self is in. When awareness is exclusively identified with the small self, it may not appear that way, but when it awakens to Big Mind - everything is revealed as perfect as it is.

Of course, the complementary aspect of this - especially as it applies to the small self - is that there is room for improvement.

When awareness is exclusively identified with the small self and functions dualistically, there is an escape from undesirable and seeking desirable situations. And even when awareness awakens to its own nature and functions transdually, there is movement and intention.

There are innumerable layers to our being: physical body, energies, emotions, mental, the field that contains all the below, the nature of mind (spacious awareness) and then Big Mind as well - all of Existence.

Today, I notice that the physical body is worn down and exhausted - from what I don’t quite know. If I stay with the body and add a story to it (I won’t be able to do what I need to do today. Why is my energy level not more stable?) I feel terrible. I know, because I did this at first this morning when I realized that I would cancel an appointment I had been looking forward to.

If I am in the field that encompasses all of the layers above, the experiences of the body becomes a very sweet softening - a sinking and melting into what is.

In the first case, the changes with the body becomes a burden and hindrance. In the second case, it becomes a way to be with what is in a very sweet way. The contraction becomes a softening and deepening expansion.

In healing, we can see it occurring through two main levels: the personal and the transpersonal, the small self and Big Mind.

When awareness is exclusively identified with the small self, it has no choice but to try to fix the small self - the body, emotions, thoughts, behavior - with the tools available to the small self. It is blinded by its own filters. No matter how much fixing and healing occurs in this way, it is never quite right - there is always a sense of something missing. There is still dependence on particular external and internal situations for happiness. There is still suffering. There is still dualistic views - pitting health against illness, right against wrong, body against mind, creator against creation, delusion against insight, me against you, humans against Earth.

When awareness awakens to the Absolute - and its own nature of spacious awareness - it finds another “ground”. It can view all inner and outer phenomena as aspects of a seamless whole. It seems that it is all ultimately perfect as it is, and that there is room for improvement. It knows a place where it stays the same, no matter what goes on for the small self. This aspect of itself is always beyond health and illness, right and wrong, body and mind, creator and creation, delusion and insight, me and you, humans and Earth. There is no need for healing here. And we find a place where we can be with - or be - whatever experiences comes up. This is the healing the small self needs - to be seen from this view… Here, the healing processes can take place for the small self - or not - either one is Existence manifesting.

Footnote: When we find this place distinct from and embracing the small self, we can view the small self and bring awareness into areas previously in the dark. This in itself is healing, and it allows the healing processes inherent in all life - in the Earth and the small self - to unfold. Where the small self interfered in dualistic and confused views, it has now stepped aside to allow the healing to unfold on its own - according to its own inherent wisdom and intelligence.

As mentioned in past postings, there are many awakenings - its a continuing process.

1. Matter
   Existence emerge as matter.

2. Life
   Matter reorganize into life - which we can say is a form of awakening. Initially, life operates through instinctual biological processes.

3. Local Awareness
   Life awaken into awareness. First, this awareness is quite dull and very local - mostly tied to instinctual biological processes.

4. Self
   Then, awareness awakens to the self - independent of which species it is - as a separate entity, separate from other selves and objects. It is exclusively identified with the self, and caught up in the processes of the self. Here, awareness functions in a dualistic way. The self tries to fix itself, which only has limited and temporary success. It is not a satisfactory situation.

5. The Nature of Mind
   From here, awareness can awaken to its own nature, as spacious awareness - distinct from its content and the personality. As it comes to its own nature in more and more situations, this realization becomes more stable, and clarifies and deepens. This is the process of liberation. From being blindly caught up in the processes of the self - the habitual patterns of emotions/thoughts/behaviors - it is now released from them. This allows for an even deeper and more intimate engagement with the self and the world.

6. Transdual
   When awareness awakens to its own nature, it also starts to function in a more transdual way. It awakens to the Absolute, distinct from the Relative world of phenomena. And from this “ground” it sees all phenomena - beyond dualities - as parts of a seamless fluid whole.

7. Big Mind
   The awakening of awareness into Big Mind is an emergence from the two previous awakenings. Awareness awakens into a fully transdual view - embracing the Absolute and Relative. The self becomes a vehicle for Big Mind.

8. Rehumanized
   From here, awareness can rehumanize - reawaken to the humanity of the self. In the terminology of the Big Mind process, it learns to freely manifest through transpersonal and personal voices. It is not stuck, there is no fixed identity on any level.

9. Evolution etc.
   Somewhere along the last few awakenings, there can also be an awakening into evolution. An awakening into conscious evolution - of being a part of the evolution of humanity, the Earth, this universe, and the relative aspect of Existence as a whole. The relative aspect of Existence becomes fuller, richer, more complex - while the Absolute is what it is, beyond simple. Big Mind becomes fuller and richer, while always having the same “ground”.

Everything we see in humanity is just natural expressions of the mind - when it functions in dualistic and transdual ways.

When awareness is exclusively identified with the small self, it naturally functions dualistically. It perceives distinctions, but not the larger seamless whole every phenomena is an aspect of. This creates a perception of separation between inner and outer, me and you, us and them, body and mind, creator and creation, right and wrong, good and bad, etc. And this in turn fuels everything we see in the world, in terms of attachments, rigidity, confusion, suffering etc.

When awareness awakens to its own nature, it naturally functions in a more transdual way. It perceives distinctions clearly, within the seamless whole of Existence. There is no separation, and from this a sense of being home, and of intimate connection with all living beings. This in turns opens for effortless compassion and clarity.

And in the interaction between the two - between Big Mind and the small self - there is a new layer of complexity which opens up.

When expressed through humans, this process seems to the same for all in its general form, although with different flavors depending on culture and personality. And it is likely to be the same in its general form even if it was expressed through a different species - although again with a unique flavor.

I was reminded of how we are always in partnership with Existence, whether we recognize it or not. Even after we realize the seamless whole of the inner and outer world, there can be a sense of partnership - because there are still distinctions.

For instance in a spiritual practice/deepening, there is always a partnership between what we perceive as “me” and the rest of Existence. We make ourselves available to Existence, and can recognize the nature of mind (spacious awareness) and move into a more transdual view - into Big Mind. This is the case whether it appears that we are doing it “on our own” (as in Zen) or whether it is supported by “transmission” (as in Waking Down or through the deekshas).

In either case, Existence makes it available to itself. And in either case, the realizations has to be clarified, deepened and lived through this life.

Existence is God, Spirit, Buddha Mind, Big Mind. When we resist Existence, there is confusion and suffering. When we make ourselves available to Existence, there is clarity and bliss.

And the way we resist Existence, is through believing in thoughts. When we believe in thoughts, we believe a story about Existence rather than being receptive to what is - to the way it manifests here/now. We resist what is, because it does not - and cannot - conform to our story. And this resistance creates confusion and suffering.

When we are released from believing in the thoughts, we make ourselves available to Existence as it manifests here/now, in the seamless whole of the inner and outer world. And we can make ourselves available to this release through inquiring into the beliefs, or by experiencing ourselves as so much more than our thoughts. When we know ourselves as spacious awareness, and as a whole body/mind, thoughts just appear within the field of awareness. And when we stay in this field - this space around the thoughts - we can engage in them, or not, without being caught up in them.

There seems to be a beautiful symmetry…

The whole wants to experience itself through its part. And the parts want to experience themselves through the whole.

Existence/God/Spirit/Buddha Mind/Big Mind seems to “want” to experience itself through the small selves, and everything experienced by/through the small selves - including all the delusion, confusion and suffering. Otherwise, it would not be. All the human experiences are just as they should be, because they are. Everything is perfect as it is. Even in our deepest suffering and confusion, it is Existence expressing and experiencing itself perfectly. Nothing is missng.

And the other side of the coin is that Existence seems to “want” to evolve. When it experiences itself in confusion and suffering, it naturally seeks clarity and equanimity. When it is expressed in an awareness that functions fragmented and dualistically, it naturally seeks to function more transdually. There is work to do and room for improvement.

Both seems to be there, in a beautiful and rich symmetry.

God/Existence/Buddha Mind/Big Mind can be seen as the highest level of the holarchy. It is that which includes, embraces and is all phenomena - as well as the “ground” they arise from. It is that which the Relative and the Absolute are two aspects of.

At the same time, Big Mind manifests as local awareness - in various degrees of awakening - through and centered on local awareness organs (small selves). And these local awarenesses can slowly awaken to their own nature, until they recognizes themselves as Big Mind.

It is very peculiar how this happens. To me, it seems to be one of the great mysteries - after the mystery that anything exists at all… God centering parts of its awareness on a local awareness organ. And this awareness continuing to be centered on a particular awareness organ even while it is awakening to itself as Big Mind.

Of course, there is a level beyond this: Big Mind not focused on any particular awareness organ. Just the whole, as it is, with no particular focus or center (there has been only one glimpse of this through this particular awareness organ).

Amazing

From the view of the small self, it is amazing beyond belief that anything exists at all… That there is space, awareness, and the world of phenomena.

From the view of Big Mind, there is just a resting in what is. Existence is.

Symmetry

It also struck me that for Existence/God/Buddha Mind to really experience itself, it has to be experienced through local awareness organs. If Existence just is - and aware of itself - without local awareness organs, there is equanimity but not much more. With the local awareness organs, there is a full and rich range of experiences.

There is an irony - and beautiful symmetry - here. God is seeking to experience itself through local awareness organs (not aware that they are manifestations of God). And some of the local awareness organs attempt to escape their experiences and seek God and equanimity. Which in turn makes the full range of experiences even richer.

As someone said, it is God playing hide and seek with itself.

One of the aspects of Byron Katie’s process which makes it so effective, is that it allows people to dip into the Absolute.

We recognize the nature of mind when it is not clouded up by beliefs in thoughts. And we recognize the dramatic shift and difference between delusion (believing in thoughts) and clarity (allowing the inherent nature of mind to be revealed).

And this dipping into the Absolute cuts through everything - all levels. There is the possibility of complete liberation from the belief in the thoughts, and a cutting through of associated delusions and hangups. When we see through the thought, we cannot believe in it anymore - on any level - even if we try.