I went to a Process Work session today, and it brought up the different ways Path shows up when filtered through the different levels.

No path

At the nondual (Big Mind) level, there is no path - the idea of path doesn’t make sense. Or we can say that it is impossible to not be on the path. Everything just is, manifestations of Buddha Mind, God’s play, emptiness dancing. Everything is path.

Paths

At our soul and human levels, there are indeed paths - and they are very real for us.

No path and paths together

As they say in Zen, everything is perfect as it is and there is room for improvement. There is the nondual beyond and including perfection and imperfection, and there is the real of perfection and imperfection.

In terms of our path, we are always on in and we are it at a nondual level. And as guided by our soul or wished for by our human self, we can definetely be more or less on it.

Withouth the pathlessness, we can easily get too caught up in the path - take it too seriously. We are stuck in the relative.

And without the path, we can aimlessly wander around - not caring about what is nurturing and what is not. Being stuck in absolute.

For me

For me, I was strongly on my path while living in Norway and Utah. There was a strong sense of everything unfolding beautifully, of strong and clear guidance, of maturing, of finding my way in the world in many ways. I was deeply on my path at my human and soul levels.

At the same time, I saw that at the nondual level there was no way anyone could be “off the path” - everything is an expression of God so there is no path to be off.

Then, during the dark night phase, there was an equally strong sense of being off the path - at least as I had experienced my path earlier. I was cut off - externally and internally, from everything that had provided such as deep sense of nourishment, meaning and fulfillment.

I felt completely derailed, which was true in many ways. At the same time, I knew I could learn from it - mature through it, see something I earlier didn’t want to see, and through all this deepen my sense of ordinariness and empathy.

Now

Now, there is the beginnings of a release from this dark night and the derailment. The bits and pieces are coming back, gradually - as a slow soul retrieval process. What came so effortlessly earlier, and also seemed so extraordinary, is now coming back in a different way. Through more of an intention and a more conscious process, and seeming very ordinary and simple.

It also seems clear that one of my tasks now is to nurture the soul level far more than I could during the dark night phase, and far more than I did by choice at the Zen center. To allow it back in, with its tremendous sense of guidance, fullness, richness, maturing, deepening, meaning, purpose, calling, and - yes - path. A unique path for me in this life, unveiled gradually.

And some of the simple ways to connect with this more deeply is through what is deeply nurturing for me, such as Breema, drawing, music, nature, good relationships and even planning for the future - exploring deeply nurturing and meaningful, and realistic, options.

Aging is another example of how stories have real life consequences.

Some myths about aging…

• We’ll have less energy and passion
• The body goes downhill
• We don’t bounce back and recover as when we were young
• Life becomes drugery and less juicy
• We can’t learn as well as before
• We are stuck in old patterns

Still, just looking at aging from common knowledge about health in general, and all the research on aging in particular, we see that none of these are necessarily true.

If we eat poorly for years and years, is that not going to have an effect? If we are chronically sleep deprived, maybe for several decades, wouldn’t that impact our ability to bounce back? If we continue to accumulate thoughts to believe in, are we not going to rigidify and create a prison for ourselves? If we continue to not seek out learning new things, is that not going to create stagnation? If we don’t explore what is meaningful for us, and engage in meaningful activities, is that not going to lead to despair and hopelessness?

So much of what we associate with aging is just the cumulative effects of behaviors we know are detrimental to our health. And when it goes on for years and decades, the effects are going to be quite noticeable. We may take it as aging, but large portions of it are easily explained by the accumulated effects of poor diet, lack of sleep and exercise, not continuing to learn new skills and knowledge, and continuing to believing in thoughts which imprison us.

And some of the things we know helps keep us fluid and life juicy for us…

• Having a good diet, appropriate for us and our current situation. This also includes being well hydrated.

• Regular physical activity.
• Get enough sleep regularly.
• Learning new skills and knowledge, especially in areas we have not explored earlier. (If we have a desk job, then learn to dance, yoga, go hiking. If we do landscaping, then develop our cognitive skills and learning. If we interact with people a lot, then do meditation or sit quietly and watch the sunrise. If we are quiet, then interact with others more.) Challenging ourselves and learning and doing something new grows new connections in the brain, and we also continue to learn how to learn. This also gives resiliency in many areas of our health.
• Finding and nurturing rewarding relationships with others.
• Finding and nurturing meaning and meaningful activities.
• And, if we are lucky enough to learn forms of inquiry that works for us, then inquire into our beliefs - allowing our mental prison to unravel one thread at a time, and eventually in larger chunks.
• In short, nurture nurturing relationships in all areas - body, mind, social, ecological - and spiritual as well.

Kids are naturally curious about the world, always learning something new in all areas of their lives - socially, physically and mentally. Instead of seeing this as a product of youth, it can equally well be seen as that which maintains youthfulness - a childlike relationship with the world.

If all is the play of God, then there must be a great deal of interest and richness in an ordinary life. There are, by definition, far more ordinary and average lives than the obviously extraordinary ones, and why would there be unless there was an extraordinary richness even in these ordinary and unassuming lives?

All of this - the words play, interest, richness, ordinary, extraordinary and so on - are just abstractions, an overlay of what is. Still, is may point to something beyond these abstractions - something to explore and see what emerges from it.

In this case, it may help us see our own lives - as they are, often ordinary and unassuming - as being immensely rich. Rich enough for God to want to manifest in this particular way, to explore itself in this life as it is right now.

And it also seems that when we allow our experiences more fully into awareness, when we are with our experiences, we realize this richness directly.

That is certainly the case for me. When I am with my experiences, there is an immense richness there - often tinged with some bliss as well, independent on whatever other content may be there.

I appreciate more and more the richness of the small self - the body, energies, emotions, thoughts, and the habitual patterns of these making up the personality.

When awareness awakens to itself as distinct from the small self, it begins to function in a more transdual way - and eventually awakens into Big Mind, embracing the Absolute and Relative. This awakening often begins subtly, and can eventually be a full blown experience.

In either case, there is a sense of (a) spacious awareness and/or (b) Big Mind using the small self as a vehicle - an emmisary into the world of phenomena. And there is a wonderful richness and fullness in this - with all the layers from the physical body through the Absolute.

Staying in pure space and awareness brings a complete experience of peace and completeness, which is attractive if the awareness tends to be identified with the small self and functions dualistically. But after a while - after the transdual functioning becomes more familiar and comfortable - there is definitely a sense of richness and enjoyment in operating with/through a small self. It brings a whole new dimension and fullness to the experience. It brings doing to the being.

When awareness is exclusively identified with the small self, it tends to seek escape in any way possible, including the idea of liberation and escape from the cycle of rebirth. But when awareness awakens to its own nature and functions transdually, it experiences and enjoys the richness of an embodied existence.

Awareness can function on transpersonal and personal levels. When there is both, there is even more richness and fullness to the experience. We can revel in the experiene of the full range of the russian dolls, from the physical body through to the Absolute.

There are innumerable layers to our being: physical body, energies, emotions, mental, the field that contains all the below, the nature of mind (spacious awareness) and then Big Mind as well - all of Existence.

Today, I notice that the physical body is worn down and exhausted - from what I don’t quite know. If I stay with the body and add a story to it (I won’t be able to do what I need to do today. Why is my energy level not more stable?) I feel terrible. I know, because I did this at first this morning when I realized that I would cancel an appointment I had been looking forward to.

If I am in the field that encompasses all of the layers above, the experiences of the body becomes a very sweet softening - a sinking and melting into what is.

In the first case, the changes with the body becomes a burden and hindrance. In the second case, it becomes a way to be with what is in a very sweet way. The contraction becomes a softening and deepening expansion.

In healing, we can see it occurring through two main levels: the personal and the transpersonal, the small self and Big Mind.

When awareness is exclusively identified with the small self, it has no choice but to try to fix the small self - the body, emotions, thoughts, behavior - with the tools available to the small self. It is blinded by its own filters. No matter how much fixing and healing occurs in this way, it is never quite right - there is always a sense of something missing. There is still dependence on particular external and internal situations for happiness. There is still suffering. There is still dualistic views - pitting health against illness, right against wrong, body against mind, creator against creation, delusion against insight, me against you, humans against Earth.

When awareness awakens to the Absolute - and its own nature of spacious awareness - it finds another “ground”. It can view all inner and outer phenomena as aspects of a seamless whole. It seems that it is all ultimately perfect as it is, and that there is room for improvement. It knows a place where it stays the same, no matter what goes on for the small self. This aspect of itself is always beyond health and illness, right and wrong, body and mind, creator and creation, delusion and insight, me and you, humans and Earth. There is no need for healing here. And we find a place where we can be with - or be - whatever experiences comes up. This is the healing the small self needs - to be seen from this view… Here, the healing processes can take place for the small self - or not - either one is Existence manifesting.

Footnote: When we find this place distinct from and embracing the small self, we can view the small self and bring awareness into areas previously in the dark. This in itself is healing, and it allows the healing processes inherent in all life - in the Earth and the small self - to unfold. Where the small self interfered in dualistic and confused views, it has now stepped aside to allow the healing to unfold on its own - according to its own inherent wisdom and intelligence.

Everything we see in humanity is just natural expressions of the mind - when it functions in dualistic and transdual ways.

When awareness is exclusively identified with the small self, it naturally functions dualistically. It perceives distinctions, but not the larger seamless whole every phenomena is an aspect of. This creates a perception of separation between inner and outer, me and you, us and them, body and mind, creator and creation, right and wrong, good and bad, etc. And this in turn fuels everything we see in the world, in terms of attachments, rigidity, confusion, suffering etc.

When awareness awakens to its own nature, it naturally functions in a more transdual way. It perceives distinctions clearly, within the seamless whole of Existence. There is no separation, and from this a sense of being home, and of intimate connection with all living beings. This in turns opens for effortless compassion and clarity.

And in the interaction between the two - between Big Mind and the small self - there is a new layer of complexity which opens up.

When expressed through humans, this process seems to the same for all in its general form, although with different flavors depending on culture and personality. And it is likely to be the same in its general form even if it was expressed through a different species - although again with a unique flavor.

Amazing

From the view of the small self, it is amazing beyond belief that anything exists at all… That there is space, awareness, and the world of phenomena.

From the view of Big Mind, there is just a resting in what is. Existence is.

Symmetry

It also struck me that for Existence/God/Buddha Mind to really experience itself, it has to be experienced through local awareness organs. If Existence just is - and aware of itself - without local awareness organs, there is equanimity but not much more. With the local awareness organs, there is a full and rich range of experiences.

There is an irony - and beautiful symmetry - here. God is seeking to experience itself through local awareness organs (not aware that they are manifestations of God). And some of the local awareness organs attempt to escape their experiences and seek God and equanimity. Which in turn makes the full range of experiences even richer.

As someone said, it is God playing hide and seek with itself.